Dealing with embarrassing memories.
I've got a cure too.
https://shorturl.at/LLNvA
It took a bit of courage for you to open my letter today; the mere mention of embarrassing memories could make someone disinterested in reading this.
Embarrassing memories range from silly things to huge mistakes and they make us cringe... don't they?
I'll share two ways to go about it. I learned the first from a video by Prince EA on YouTube, and the second is from my personal experience, then I’ll finally tell you the cure for embarrassing memories.
LET’S BEGIN:
1. Watch them come and go What are all thoughts made up of? They are made up of nothing. Yes, thoughts are powerful and they shape our lives, but stop giving too much strength to negative thoughts. It's just a thought. When an evil thought comes into your mind, don't get paranoid and wonder if your mind is deteriorating. Everyone has bad thoughts come into their mind at least a couple of times a day. What makes a difference is whether you dwell on them or you show them the way out by reminding yourself of who you are and replacing the bad thoughts with good ones.
Now, the way to push away those embarrassing or bad thoughts is to not push them away in the first place. The more you fear remembering a bad memory, the more you resent it, it will keep surfacing. When you say, "I don't want to remember my alcohol addiction in high school," what the mind hears is "alcohol addiction," and it replays the terrible memory.
Okay, let's try this: "Think about not watching television."
What did you imagine yourself doing? I'm sure you pictured yourself watching TV… You get my point now? the mind won’t budge… As long as you mention what you don’t want to think about, you’ll automatically think about it.
The problem with bad memories is they place you in this cycle of regret and hurt. In this state, you are not at Shalom.
TRY THIS: When those memories you dislike come, just stare at them. Don't keep replaying the scenario or try to figure out how things might have turned out if you had taken a different step. Don't say "curse me!" or "I was such an idiot!" or any other unkind exclamation. Saying for instance,"I don't want to remember how loose I was" will only make you remember it. So, don't do anything. Just watch the thought come, watch it go, and let the thought dissolve into the nothingness that it truly is.
2. Talk to yourself about it
At times, you aren't the one who initiates the thought; your friends unintentionally bring up your past mistakes in discussions. For instance, let's say Chloe was an employee at your firm, and you treated her badly—delayed wages, didn't pay for overtime, harassed her, or talked down on her—and during a chat with your friend, they say, "Remember Chloe, the girl who used to work for you? She now works at Y; hear they pay their workers so well, and the benefits are amazing." Your friend says this so casually and lightheartedly because they're trying to get to a point.
Do the same for yourself, and by no means am I saying you should show a nonchalant attitude toward mistakes in the past. But you can take your friend's place. Okay, when you're busy doing something and embarrassing memories come again, know this; the person who did those things was who you were. You are a different person now. Talk to yourself audibly and calmly, "Oh...that day I made my mum cry because of how harshly I spoke to her… That was not good, but I'm glad I'm a different person now and I will never do anything to hurt her again." ‘‘ I didn’t spend enough quality time with my cousin before he passed away, I will be careful to spend time with my loved ones, I loved my cousin so much and I know I will see him again someday.’’ This last one is not embarrassing but I know it is hurtful and you may easily blame yourself for it. Don’t blame yourself for not being there for them, it won’t make things better.
Whatever the memory is, whether it’s something silly or a dark memory, tweak an honest response, accept you did it, acknowledge it was bad, but be grateful for the person you've become.
People who are genuinely free from something can talk about it, not necessarily with someone. Say it out loud like it doesn't matter because that's the truth. You can't go back and undo anything. If the scenario is now funny, feel free to laugh about it. Say, you screwed up on your first day at work because you were nervous, you can laugh over it now.
Don't take life too seriously.
This method has worked for me; try it and please tell me about your experience.
No one is perfect, and also, no one is walking around with a telescope, hiding in the bushes or standing on tall buildings to see what you're doing or what's going on in your life. I'm sure you don't remember some embarrassing things people who are close to you did before, just as they don't remember yours.
The cure for bad memories: Make good choices now so you'll enjoy your memories later.
Thank you for reading this. Let those embarrassing or negative thoughts come and go...you didn't know any better; maybe you made a mistake, but that's not you anymore.
Shalom dear one,
❤️ 🕊️
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