Lonely nights

And yet… I miss you. The small, ordinary ways you filled my days

Loneliness can come in different forms. Busyness is how we try to escape it sometimes — drowning the silence in music, scrolling endlessly — but then the night creeps in, and the house feels cold, empty. You would even appreciate the noise you once complained of if you were going to sleep….

The night echoes loneliness louder. Yes, you are alone, and there is no hiding or running from it…

You look around the house and become aware that whatever you see, whether a flaw or a small victory, is yours. No one dropped litter. You did. No one put the keys where you could find them. You did. No one forgot to lock the door. You did. No one shared the quiet evenings with you. You did.

Loneliness is a feeling of ache, like something is missing, and at times, you don’t even know what is missing.

After having a great day, you begin walking home and remember you’ll be alone. You’ll cook dinner and eat it alone. No one will return later at night to ask how your day went. No one to share the day’s experience with. When you watch a funny video or a meme, there’s no one to quickly show it to, no one to share laughter with. No one to tease playfully. No one to tease you. No one to ask why you look tired, or what the smile on your face is for. No one to wake up when you have a bad dream so you can pray together. No one to steal blankets from. No one to playfully refuse your snacks. No one to accompany you when you’re going out.

No one. No one. It’s just silence. Cold silence. The type that echoes back at you when you scream into the dead of the night. The same silence you feel when you return home after saying goodbye to someone you love who is traveling far away. The one you realize when it’s a new phase of life and you must move forward. It’s a confusing ache. The silence you finally accept when you realize time flies too fast, and moments are fleeting, like a blur of memories.

And yet… I miss you. The small, ordinary ways you filled my days — the laughter, the teasing, the quiet conversations. I never realized how much I carried you in the corners of my days until now.

Loneliness is heavy, but maybe, just maybe, it’s also a reminder of how deeply we can love.

And tonight, as I sit in this silence, I feel you everywhere I look — in every empty corner, in every quiet moment, in every heartbeat that still remembers your laughter.

Shalom, dear one

❤️🕊️