What Happens When You Sit with the Darkness?

Light came from darkness. Beauty can come from it.

I watched this movie, I Still Believe, recently. It was released in 2020. I don’t know why I’ve been discovering old art this year. I listened to Vancouver Sleep Clinic's song this year as well. Someone to Stay — it was released in 2017.

And I have a love-hate relationship with it. I love it because it’s a reminder that we need people in our lives. We need someone to hold. It reminds me that friendships, family, and communities are pillars when we are down. Then I hate it because, in a different light, it could mean waiting for others to fix us or do things for us — and that’s a recipe for disaster.

It’s up to us to fix ourselves. It’s too much to ask of anyone. But the song was just true. The reality is, we all face loneliness, sadness…

Well, alright, back to the movie I watched. It was the story of the award-winning music artist Jeremy Camp. I listened to his song I Still Believe, and I loved the video so much. The song sounded like it was about God, but the visual told a love story, so I thought, “It must be a movie.” And when I searched, I was right. The movie which was also titled I Still Believe told Jeremy Camp's story.

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Jeremy Camp’s songs were borne out of pain. His wife loved the Lord. She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. And in one of his music concerts, Jeremy asked the audience to pray for her. She was his fiancée at the time. He believed God still healed and prayed that God should heal the love of his life — Melissa. Her name was Melissa.

She was supposed to undergo surgery, but then God answered and healed her — the doctors couldn’t find the cancer. A miracle happened for her. Six months later, they got married. They loved each other so much. But a few months after their wedding, the cancer came back, and she died.

You should watch the movie to understand how painful it was. They had faith. God answered. And then what? The cancer came back?

It was painful. The last thing Jeremy wanted to do was pick up his guitar. But after Melissa died, he found a letter she had written to him. He’d always wanted to read her journal, and she told him she was finally letting him read it. In the letter, she said, “And when you're ready, pick up your guitar.”

Darkness and grief gave birth to Jeremy Camp’s beautiful songs, and it was a pillar for me — a reminder that everything happens for a reason. Even though it’s painful at the time, God brought beauty out of his darkness.

When God created the world, there was first darkness. Then He said, “Let there be light.”

Darkness is also feedback — that things could be brighter if we want them to be.

That something is wrong and things could be better.

Instead of running away from every curveball life throws at us, we could sit with it and ask, “What is this trying to teach me?” or “What good can I bring out of this?”

Darkness also signifies a time of waiting. Seeds grow underground in the darkness, then emerge into the light.

Darkness signifies a time to rest— the night. When you let the body and mind rest before you begin a new day.

If you are going through a season of darkness in your life, I'm sending you love and light✨🖤— and I pray beauty comes out of this season in your life.

So stand up. Pick up your guitar( whatever it signifies for you).

It’s not over.
There’s still hope. Don’t give up yet.
I'm rooting for you...

Shalom, dear one.

❤️🕊️

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